Why Doesn't She Want to Hang Out?

Andrew from Houston, TX writes:

"Alright, we are in college. She is the type of person who works for perfection on all her classes. She'll sacrifice her social life for better grades. Sometimes when I joke around her she won't laugh at them, maybe I have terrible jokes. The last few weeks before finals we would study at the local Starbuck’s and Barnes and Noble bookstore. At that time she would go out of her way to help with my studies and when I would stare into her eyes, her eyes would dilate for a period of time and we would stare at each and she would have a huge glowing smile. Now, since finals and the spring semester is over and summer vacation has come I haven't hung out with her for at least two weeks, but I would always keep in contact with her every other day. Sometimes she doesn't reply to my text or when I message her online. But at other times we would go into long conversations online. When I ask her to hang out with me on the phone or online, she says, "maybe some other time" or "we'll figure something out". Summer vacation just started last week. Has the chemistry faded away or was there any to begin with?"

Nancy's Relationship Advice:

Dear Andrew,

This young woman appears to be very focused on her college goals which may not include a relationship - or she is already involved with someone else.  These are a few possibilities, but no matter what the case, she is not available to you.  It is very easy to read more into conversations and answered texts/emails when you are the one wanting that romantic connection.  I do encourage you to stop running after someone who does not want to be in a relationship with you.  The right person will want to be with you and will be open emotionally so you can share each other’s lives.  Even though you are just starting out in life and deciding what you want to do, know that it is never too early to have a solid visual image of the type of person you would like to end up with long term.  You can allow life and relationships to happen to you, or you can take charge and bring positive experiences and people towards you!

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