Friendship or Love?

Damian from Duluth, MN asks:

"OK, let me start off by saying that we have been friends for only a few months. She is a good friend but would like to pursue this even further if its possible. Just kinda confused is all.

We ended up going out for drinks last night, went and picked her up and went to the bar. We had a great time.

Two weeks ago, she asked me to go to a concert with her in July since we are both fans. I said yes and bought the tickets yesterday when they went on sale. I paid for them since she is struggling a bit financially, she said "I will pay you back for the ticket and 1/2 the hotel when I start making more money and get caught up on bills". That's when I said, she wouldn't have to pay me back if this was gonna be a "date". All she said was maybe, for the second time, I brought it up two weeks ago as well.... 

Now I'm not gonna jump and think this is a no or a yes, just confused I guess. I spent the night at her place last night so I didn't have to drive home after drinking, on the couch though. Even got a kiss before going to sleep. That could have been a "I'm buzzed kiss" though. That's why I don't get the whole maybe bit.

Yeah, it's confusing to say the least. I was actually surprised by the invite to the concert, more out of the blue than anything. It was just something that grabbed my attention the other night when we were out. I was paying attention to any signals she might have been giving out. For example; when we were talking, I had her undivided attention, there was no glancing around the room. Maintained a strong level of eye contact throughout the night as well as the playful hitting that was involved when I teased her on occasion.

If it's just friends, so be it. However, I would certainly hope for more along with way if that is even a possibility.

Any ideas would be helpful."

Nancy's Relationship Advice:

Dear Damian,

I have found that many people in your situation tend to avoid communicating exactly what their intentions are with each other.  Clearly you desire to have a relationship with this woman as opposed to a friendship only arrangement.  It is important to get your feelings out in the open, which requires you to be vulnerable.  

It certainly can be a little intimidating to open your heart to another person but it is necessary.  If you are going to experience the love you seek, you need to be bold and make that move.  You are not doing yourself and favors - or her for that matter, by not revealing what you want in a clear manner and then allowing the chips fall where they may.  You both deserve lasting love and a friendship arrangement will not work for you if she is not open to pursuing a romantic relationship.

Do you have a relationship issue you are trying to work though?   

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