Friendship Boundaries

Walter from Los Angeles, CA writes:

 

"My wife doesn’t really like any of her childhood buddies. She likes my friends and actually communicates with them more than I do!  They send her text messages with general conversational stuff, they contact her for plans, and I just don’t know how to feel about all of this.  It makes me uneasy.  Am I being overly cautious?"

 

Nancy's Relationship Advice:

Dear Walter,

On the positive side, your wife enjoys the company of your friends and wants to spend time with them.  Many times in marriages the opposite happens and the husband feels he is in a position to choose between his good buddies and his wife.  

Since your intuition is sending you caution alerts, I encourage you to explore why you feel uneasy with your wife communicating with your friends.  If she is setting up plans without you, then I do believe that is not in the best interest of your marriage.  Even as innocent as something like this starts, there is a tendency for men and women to form intimate, emotional connections that should be reserved for only spouses.  

If she is friendly with the wives of your good friends and they are getting together without you, then I do not see anything   to worry about in that scenario.  As a Christian, I believe we must guard our hearts at all times and be very mindful of who we associate with and not place ourselves in potentially tempting situations.  

This is not a question of loyalty in your marriage per se, but it is a wise practice in any committed relationship.  Guarding and cherishing what you have together, realizing how precious your emotional and spiritual connection is in your relationship will keep the marriage from being taken for granted.

Do you have a relationship issue you are trying to work though?   

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