How Do I Win His Trust Again?

Sara from Marshall, VA asks:

"I dated a guy briefly in August of last year. I REALLY liked him, and he never made me doubt how he felt about me. He was constantly telling me how much he cared. One evening he came over to spend some time with me after work. I had a bad day and instead of talking to him about it, I just picked on him all night, and made him feel horrible about himself. The next day he was needless to say very upset with me. I tried to apologize but by that point the damage had been done and by the following week, he broke up with me.

Since he broke up with me, it seems though that he can't stay away. He'll text and occasionally call me on the phone just to see how I'm doing. He always leaves the future open ended with comments like, " Well you don't know what's going to happen down the road." I know he's been burned before in past relationships, and he's made it clear to me that his trust in me is gone. Do you think that we have a shot at a second chance??? I would love to gain his trust back and see where our relationship might lead if we give it another go."

Nancy's Relationship Advice:

It appears that he is more attracted to you outside of a relationship where he is not required to be completely open and vulnerable than when he is officially in a committed relationship. He continues to say statements that you can interpret as a possibility for reconciliation but I assure you that he does not have that intention. A man who wants to be with you will not be vague about it and will move heaven and earth to make it happen. I encourage you to let this guy go and stop communicating with him once and for all. You deserve a real relationship with a man who is not afraid of love.

I know you are looking back at one particular incident and telling yourself that was the reason he broke up with you in the first place. I promise that even though that incident pushed his buttons, it was not the core reason why he ran away. In the right relationship, both people give each other room for having a bad day and the grace to talk through it. You did learn the importance of sharing and expressing your feelings as they happen instead of bottling them up and taking out your frustrations on those closest to you. This was a huge blessing that you can incorporate in your future relationship with the right man.

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