The More She Says No, The More I Want Her

Mike from California asks:
I was seeing someone last summer and thought we had a good thing going. She went to Florida to work for this past winter and we talked on the phone. Then she hung up on me and changed her number so I thought it was over. Then she came back here to work. I just cant seem to let go of her because I have to see her all the time. We made out a few times since she came back but she always has an excuse not to want to go anywhere with me. I know she really does not care for me but I just can not seem to let go of her. We live in a very small community so every one knows every ones business and it just kills me to have to see her all the time. I know I need to just let it go, but I can not seem to."

Nancy's Relationship Advice:
Sometimes what we believe we want is highly appealing simply because that person is unavailable to us. Mentally you already know that you need to let this go and move forward because she has made it very clear that she is not interested. And the more she resists, the more you find yourself wanting to be with her. If you take a step back and imagine that this situation is one that your best friend found himself, I'm sure you would advise him to forget her and point out all the positive traits and characteristics he possesses. And that is the same advise you need to give yourself. And I understand that it isn't as simple as it sounds.

The primary reason why we are attracted to certain individuals who clearly are not emotionally or spiritually healthy is based in the beliefs we formed in our formative years. This situation and the feelings that come from it are familiar to you and that is why you are comfortable with her rejection. The key is to trace back this particular feeling throughout your past relationships and see where it originated. You are not at peace with something that happened to you in the past. I believe this is God's way of allowing those feelings to come to the surface so they can be acknowledged, processed and then worked through. Once you start exploring your feelings and see where these fear based thoughts came from, you will find you have made a significant stride towards eliminating the need to relive this type of rejection and open your heart and mind to true and lasting love.

Do you have a relationship issue you are trying to work though? Email your relationship question to Nancy and receive a personal reply!