Should I financially support my boyfriend?

Athandiwe writes:

I’ve been involved with this guy I love him so much and he loves me too. The thing is he has a newly established company and he doesn’t want to look for a job as he believes in himself. I also believe on him but the problem now he is struggling even to pay a rent. As we always together, I sometimes buy food of which I don’t have a problem. Now he is asking for money. He says he has no food. I promised to give him some money but something came up and I had to use the money.

I sent him an SMS apologizing and he didn’t reply. When I call him he says he feels like he is not important to me and that I make him last on my list. He is so angry with me and doesn’t reply my sms’s because he says he has no airtime.

Please help me understand if it is right to give men money as I believe it's suppose to be the other way around. I really love him but he is putting me in an awkward situation.

Nancy's Relationship Advice:

It is great that your boyfriend has ventured on his own and strongly believes in his business. And as his girlfriend, I believe what he should expect from you is emotional support - not financial support. Statistically, it generally takes five years for a new business to turn a profit. With that in mind, many people work two jobs - their dream business and a job to pay the bills until their company becomes financially secure.

Even though you are in a committed relationship, you are not married and it is not your position to support him in this manner. In the Bible it talks about how the man is the head of the household and has a responsibility to earn money and support his wife and family. So you are correct that in a marriage, the man is to be the primary breadwinner. Even though you are not married, that does not mean that you are somehow obligated to support him because of the individual decision he made to start a business without having enough savings on hand during this transition stage.

He is trying to manipulate and guilt you into giving him money. I encourage you not to fall into this trap and stand your ground. If he really loves you, that love will not be conditioned on you supporting his financial needs.

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