Am I Cheating?

Sharma writes:

I am 21 yrs old, engineering student. I am in a relationship with a classmate for the past two years. He is normally very rude and agressive with me. He is a rough man, and I have slowly adjusted to him. He usually is very busy and gives negligible time to me. We often have fights regarding this subject and he is also a man with orthodox thoughts. He normally has problems with the way I dress etc. He is away to his hometown for a month and we rarely talk.

Meanwhile I found someone on the internet (aged 24), became friends and we are now very close to each other. He is very charming and pampers me a lot. We have exchanged phone numbers and have met once. I have not told anything about this to my boyfriend. If he gets to know about this, he'll surely kill me or make my life a living hell.

Should I stop talking to my new friend??

Am I cheating on my boyfriend? Please help. I have a constant guilt pricking me but I like to talking to this new guy also.

What should I do?

Nancy's Relationship Advice:

I would like you to ask yourself why you are involved with a man who is very rude and aggressive with you. That behavior is not the basis for a loving, emotionally healthy and lasting relationship. I know you have two years into this relationship, but it is quite unhealthy for you.

Because your emotional needs are not being met, you have reached out to someone who will fulfill that desire to feel loved and connected. Although you are not physically involved with this new guy, you are having an emotional affair with him. I encourage you to end your relationship with your boyfriend and continue developing a solid foundation with this new young man.

I also encourage you to guard your heart in the future and be very careful with who you give your time to romantically. It is very important that you are mindful about how you conduct yourself in relationships so you do not form patterns that will be difficult to break in the future.

If a guy is attracted to you, but does not treat you with the love, respect and kindness you deserve, please do not be pressured to enter into a relationship with that person. Stand up for what you want and do not allow yourself to be manipulated by anyone, especially in love. Also, in the future, if you are unhappy in a relationship, it is best to address those issues openly and honestly before looking elsewhere for fulfillment.

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