Should I stay, or should I go?

Judy from Danbury, CT Asks:

I am currently dating a 47 year-old man who got divorced a few years ago, has two children, loves me and respects me. However, in the beginning, he thought it would be nice to have a child together, but now he realized that he might not want to do that again! On my side, a part of me feels that having a family is a woman’s duty to complete in life, on the other hand, since I’ve been quite independent, maybe I don’t need a child in life. Second, from speaking with one of my co-worker, she feels that I should be number one, not the children from the first marriage.

Again, I think I understand both possible answers. Third, I was supposed to move in when he finally purchase his house(although it’s a buyer’s market, he has limited funds to purchase what he likes, I’ve been living with him for about a year and a half, he pays for the rent and I help pay for groceries etc. And I still pay my roommate for storage because his place is too small for both of us). Anyway, I was to move in like a roommate and help pay electrical bill and such… then eventually get married. However, do you think I am going down the right path, or should I leave now before it’s too late? We already had a small conversations about my feelings, he understands and respects my decision either way, also, a part of him feels that I could have a better offer. Please help, thank you!”

Nancy’s Relationship Advice:

Please do not try to rationalize away the dreams and desires you have in your heart for marriage. I understand how easy it is to look at both sides of what is being proposed to you and wanting to make this relationship work. At 29, you most certainly deserve to be married to a man who has his priorities in order ... meaning his relationship with God is first, your marriage and relationship with you, children, and then everything else.

Like many divorced men, he has a sense of guilt over the failed marriage and tries to overcompensate by having these skewed priorities in an attempt to make up for not being there full time for his children. After living together for all this time, I believe you have a sense that he is not very serious about getting married anytime soon.

I strongly encourage you to break off this arrangement and allow the right relationship and true love to come into your life. I know you have a lot invested in this relationship emotionally but I can assure you that before you know it, many years will have gone by and you can very well be in this same state of limbo.

There is nothing wrong with wanting to be married to a man who shares your life and relationship goals. Once you take this step of faith and not settle for less than marriage and family, then the right door to love will open. You will be able to look back on this experience as a positive turning point in which you began receiving the blessings God has in store for you.

Do you have a relationship issue you are trying to work through?

Email your relationship question to Nancy and receive a personal reply!

Visit www.rightrelationshipstv.com for more relationship advice from Nancy Pina.